May tomorrow be wonderful, too.

Please comment to be added :D

Oh dear. So, last night Anthony and I spent nearly 4 hours on the phone together.

XXD

I haven't spent that long on the phone since...God, ever probably. My mom definitely gave me a weird look afterwards.

My god I'm such a loser.

I wanted to post about this earlier this week, but I've been too lazy as usual. It would have been good to get it off my chest.

So holy hell, I have been freakishly giddy all week. And I shall tell you why *dramatic reverb*

Kay, so I met up with Anthony this sunday to hand out and stuff, which is what we usually do when we get together. We met up at Borders and got lunch at this really good Korean BBQ place. We had a lot of fun, eventually we went back to my house and watched AMV Hell for a while. Since he lives in Kent, he couldn't stay too long before he had to go home. I was honestly sad to see him go.

About an hour after he left he called me, I guess his mom wasn't too happy about him coming over to my house. See, she doesn't totally  approve of us hanging out because I'm still kind of young and stuff. So we talked, I gave some motherly advice, because I kind of see where she's coming from in her reasoning, plus I don't even know her so I don't want to say bad things. Afterwards he told me again about how he really liked me. It made me nervous but I finally told him that I really liked him back. I knew I'd have to tell him sooner or later, but I explained to him about Kris and basically why I was so hesitant and scared about relationships. The best part about it was he understood, he even said that my story made him kind of sad. But he said to me that he understood and that he would wait until I was comfortable with all this.

Having gotten all that off my chest and then him understanding made me unbelievably happy. Even now I'm still really happy. I find that I really miss him too. I'm doing that thing again where I get excited when the phone rings because it might be him. I feel so lame doing that, but I get so happy when it is him.

So god, who knows where this'll go.

I'M GONNA GO PLAY FFIX NOW KTHXBAI :O

So I just heard some rather interesting news. Apparently Kirs and Lacey broke up. Part of me is wondering why I should even care about this. I thought I moved on, but the fact that I'm dwelling on this shows that I still feel a bit hung up about it. Although, I do realize that I no longer ant Kris anymore, so that's a big step ahead. In fact, I've come to terms that I hate them both equally. :D

Besides, I have someone else who I like who isn't a freaking goffic deadbeat, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! That's right, college education, job, future, and everything. TAKE THAT KRIS, YOU JACK ASS!!! >:D

So yeah, I feel an overwhelming ocean of Schadenfreude right now. In fact, when I get home I may have to blast that song.

But apart from that, umm, Mom and Dennis are no officially married *tosses confetti* and I successfully survived homecomming. Go me!

I totally went trick or treating last night too. It was awesome! I went as Hinata because I love that constume to death. There was this one girl who was all in awe of me. I felt special. :3 I think I may give my candy away though. I've found that when faced with a huge pumpkin bucket full of candy, I just don't care much for it. I'll still pcik out what I want, but I think I'll give the rest away.

Happy Friday eve everyone!! :D

  

I should probably update this more....

Eh, I not in the mood for bitching right now. 

Edit: Ah fuck it, I need to rant.

So, about last week I added this guy to my friends on myspace. He seemed nice. He was on the Kumoricon board looking for friends and such, so why not, rite? Anyway, he seemed nice. He left me comments saying stuff like "Your the best Rukia" and "Your hinata's perfect!" (ego boost +5 :] ). He was an Ichigo cosplayer, so go figure. But then he was leaving things like "you're cute" and stuff.

....kay? Must have low standards (I'M KIDDING....kinda)

A couple days earlier he gave me his cell number saying I should call or text or something. I told him I'm kinda weird about giving out my number, blah blah blah. Then he replies by saying that he liked me.

HOW THE HELL DOES ONE REPLY TO THAT?!?! WE'VE NEVER EVEN MET!!! D: D: D:

I didn't reply, obviously. Then he sent me another message saying that he'd like to get to know me better.

Of course this goes back to the whole "I'm not looking for a relationship/BOYS=SCAREY!!!" thing. I realized after my birthday, that I think I really like Anthony. But everytime I think that I get scared because I can't help but remember what happened the last time I got attached to a boy (....yeah).

And then I also can't help but think of Joe. I can tell he really likes me and I feel bad because I really like Anthony, but then a go back to why I'm scared of boys. It's one big stupid circle. DX Then Kelsey brought up a good point that I ahve to agree with: As much as boys scare me, I do enjoy the attention. Does that make me terrible? I don't know...

To make matters worse I alsmot ran into Lacey again at the mall yesterday. I think I'm going to avoid the mall for a while. That's what, twice in a row? Christ.

In some good news, I aquired a DS for my birfday. :B I'm currently distracted playing pokemanz. 

OH LOOK! IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE! I'M GOING TO GO FROLIK BEFORE ENGLISH STARTS!! :O

You remember how when you were a kid and like that two weeks before your birthday you were all hella excited and stuff? You could hardly contain your excitment.
I dunno, maybe it's because I'm older, but even though it's tomorrow, I could almost not care. Like it just kind of dawned on me this week that I turn 18 on friday and my only responce was "...huh."
You know, even though I had that party I was half-heartedly planning. :|
Don't get me wrong, I still think it's great and all (I might finally be getting a DS), but at the same time I feel like it wouldn't really matter to me either way.

It must the age. The older you get birthday's must lose their sparkle. Oh well.
XD

So,  I guess I'm going to Homecoming. Which, in all actuality, I kind of want to go. I know it's going to be one of those things where if I don't go I'm going to regret. Plus it might actually be pretty fun. But I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of me going to Homecoming. It still does not quite compute.

But it just makes me feel bad. I can't shake the feeling that I'm courting two guys at the same time. It makes me feel incredibly guilty, because I know both of them like me. In fact they both admitted so within a few hours of each other. Joe even gave me flowers Friday night when I saw him.  The guilt gets even worse when I  realize that I'm really starting to like Anthony. And I felt bad because I may have been giving off some uncomfortable vibe to him after he put his arm around me

Sometimes I wish boys would just go away. :|

Speaking of, I met up with Anthony at the mall today and we  basically just wandered around the mall. Made an extremely close call upon running into Aaron at Suncoast and he informed me that "Kyle and 'the others are in Clair's". I didn't even need to guess who he meant by "the others". Christ that was kind of scary. I mean, running in to them at Sakuracon is kind of inevitable, but anywhere else I'd rather it just be avoided.

Although I will admit, part of me did want them to see me with another guy. Does that make me a bad person? :| x2

Apart from that, the trip was fun. He even gave me a little Sayoran figure from Tsubasa, he kept the Sakura one. Looking back, it's almost as though the Sayoran one represents him and the Sakura one represents me. :3 God I'm retarded.

We even ran into Kelsey who was working at the time and we had lunch together. It was quite fun.

As of now, I'm attempting to start one of the two essays that are due this week for Human Development. I feel really dis-hearted, though, after getting my first essay back and getting a C (which is equivalent to a D in high school). But I guess an average writer deserves an average grade. D: My writing is crap, there is no way around it.

So before I go off to more procrastinating writing, I will say thins:  I don't care what anyone says, I like this freaking song. It's so simple and earnest it almost makes me want to cry D:

I'm too emotional.  T_T

:|

....So, ummmm.........

Joe just asked me to Homecoming.

....

I'm not really sure what to say. I'm kind of excited because, well crap, I've never been asked to a major dance like Homecoming before. I mean yeah, the Masquerade Ball was one thing, but fuck, Homecoming? Jesus, that's almost like on a whole different level.

And then I also feel kind of bad because, while I like Joe and I think he's neat, I've also been realizing this past week that I just might like Anthony...and now this.

I told Joe yes. I mean, I'd like to go. As freaked out as I am about this, I couldn't help but crack a smile when he asked (granted, this was over Myspace, but I kind of don't care). But now anxiety is starting to set in.

AILDASHFWN;GO WUIRTIHJPG98ASERY SEH ;@@!!!!! STUPID BOYS AND ALL THEIR STUPID!!!! *shakes fist to the heavens*

I don't know. I don't know if I want comfort, or some sort of advice or what.

Goddammit. :| Maybe if I hide, all the boys will go away.


To try and get my mind off of all this, I figure I'd share this with all you.

http://ff7.ocremix.org/

Sorry, I can't get it to hyperlink. But it's basically a huge remix of the music from FFVII, and I must say it is freaking good! I really like Deliverance of the Heart and Cid's Theme so far. It's times like this where I wish I could get my freakin' bittorrent to work.

Hope you guys like it.

I...

...am stalling.





....Or procrastinating, whatever you want to call it.

First paper of my college career and I'm starting this bad habit up again. Which is never good, especially now. I know I should savor this, definitely considering this is going to be the easiest paper I'll ever have to do, but I just can't get myself into it. It's not even an issue of not knowing how to start it, it's staying motivated and doing it without stopping to check my damn myspace every 5 minutes >_>. By the way, the paper is for Human Development (which shall here by be known as HD) and the prompt is "Your First Impressions of College" and tie it back to the first chapter of our textbook (The Community College Experience PLUS [yes, the "plus" is in  all caps like that]).

So what did I do yesterday instead of working on my paper? What I like to call Costume Research. :D Which is basically looking at how other people have done a certain costume, looking at their completed product and seeing what aspects I like. For example, I was looking at people's White Mage, because it is nearly impossible to find a good reference picture for that costume D: That and I Wanted to see how people have made their mallets. I have some pretty good ideas for how to construct it, but it's still in the planning phases, I guess.

I was also looking at Toph. I'm still not sure about this costume, but if Kelsey decides to go through with Azula, I'll do it. If not, well...I have other things I want to do (Like Akane for instance).

Bleh. It's all still in planning. I still need to get a job. Mom says Forza and Starbucks are always taking applications. But "Taking Applications" and "Hiring" are two different things, I'm pretty sure. But I need the monies. :[ Run had asked me to babysit Daichi for today, from like 11 to 8 for 8 dollars an hour. Problem is, I couldn't find a way to get to Mercer Island and back. I felt bad turning her down, too. Her reply was " No worries, I will ask you some day when you could drive by yourself." XD I love that woman!

But I was still sad. I wanted the monies!! D:

Which reminds me; Saturdays without class suck!! I never have anything to do...

I really should get around to seriously planning my party, which I just realized is in about two weeks.

Oh dear.

Wow, this is the first time in like, freaking months that I've thought 'Gosh, it's so nice that's it's Friday :D"

So. College. All I can say is that so far it is so much better than Curtis! I'm not even sure where to begin. Maybe it's mostly the atmosphere which is so relaxed and laid back. Or maybe it's the computers that have actual internet (even though they are a bit slow, but that's to be expected, I guess). But I think the best thing is that the classes and everything that are for the student. Everyone here is treated as a statistic  or a test score. You can take classes that you need, and if you're having trouble you can get tutors or drop the class all together and go back and learn the basics, you know and not being told to "just stick it out".

Most importantly, the students actually want to be there. The classes are quiet and interruption free. You can actually learn here.

As for my first week, I spent more time outside of class then actually in it. Mostly thanks to the fact that my math class doesn't start until November so each day, save friday, I have about an hour of down time until either English or my Lab. My first class doesn't even start until 12:30, so I can come to school rested, too. I really like the few teachers that I have, Wendy is really nice and can relate to the fact that she hated the high school environment too, having taught it herself (she says she's a "Recovering High School Teacher). Mr. Smith is really neat, he's full of sarcasm. :D He just needs a cane and I swear he'd be House. I think my English class will be my biggest challenge, since it's about writing, and my writing leaves a lot to be desired.

I was really surprised at how many people from Curtis I've seen too! I've been hanging out with Nathan a lot since we both have a lot of downtime too.

The other night I was able to exercise the fact that my classes don't start until the afternoon by going with Dakota to wait in line for Halo 3. It was pretty fun. As we headed to the back of line, he remarks to the people in front of us, "We're here for Viva Pinata!!" XD

So yeah, so far college is interesting. Granted we didn't do much this week, in fact I've been feeling kind of restless because I know I should have like, loads of homework, but I don't so far.

...and that's kind of it. =/

So here I am, night before my college-ness starts, and I'm suprisingly not that nervous...yet. I know once I get in bed, the ol' anxiety will start up again.

It's only a matter of time.

So holy crap, I'm so sad that Mike won't be back to class for a year!!

D:
I know he needs to for his job and all, but I'm still hella sad.

MIIIIIIIIIKKKKKE~~ OHMAHGOD WE SHOULD TOTALLY GOT TO PAX THIS YEAR TOGETHER MMKAY? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE LIKE, HELLA FUN!! AND I'LL THINK OF SOMEONE COOL YOU CAN GO AS!!!

I've been saying "hella" a lot lately. >_>

Holy crap you guys, wish me luck!!!!

Holy crap. This be my last week of vacation. In all honesty, I'm pretty glad, it's been getting really boring around here. And even then once school starts I still can sleep in since class doesn't start until 1:30.

...Of course if I get an actual job I'll have to work mornings. Which I don't think I'd mind, really. I'm getting quite tired of babysitting. I want to feel like I've actually done something for my money. JoAnn's is apparently hiring, and so is Value Village. Maybe I'll throw an application or two there way. I may need a bus pass if I work at JoAnn's since I was planning on taking the bus anyway for school, it could be a good investment. I'd have to a lot of planning ahead for the bus schedule.

I went to the Library today and was there from like 11 to 2:30. Man~ there are some really creepy people at the Library during the day. There was this one guy who, the entire time I was there, walking back and forth making copies of pictures out of books. He didn't smell too great either.

On a good note, I finally finished Ranma 1/2. ^_^ I think I might want to do Akane for a costume since that's pretty much in my skill level.

I'm also seriously considering going to PAX this year. It would give me a good excuse to do the White Mage costume I've been wanting to do. But Jesse also wants me to go to AE, but for that I'd need a passport, even for KeiKon. Both I'm really considering, but again, passport. Hopefully I'll have a real job soon.

Anthony wants to get together again on Wednesday. Part of me really wants to, but the otehr part is like "OH MAH GOD, BOY!!!!" D:

I have issues...=/

Ah crap, let's just start from Saturday.

Saturday: So yay, first day back to class after a while and it turns out that Erik is going to car pool with us. Yay, I won't be all alone in the back seat anymore :D. Run liked the gift a got for her in CA (a Dream Catcher, of all things) and I think everyone liked the candy I brought. We talked about unions and how we need to be a part of one to get jobs. Namely SAG (Screen Actors Guild) which is about $2,000 some monies to join, that's $2,000 some monies I don't have in the least bit. Luckily, Run wants me to wait a bit to get more training before presenting me.

So needless to say, the AMAZE jobs went pretty well. Run, Sayaka, and Shun all got jobs and parts in the Godzilla game, and Run was also the voice Director.  The President of AMAZE liked our demo and apparently would like to hire us, but can't since we're not apart of a union. Which brings me back to the SAG issue, since most jobs are union work.

In short; to get a union job, you need to be apart of SAG, but to be apart of SAG you need to have a union job...something along the lines of that. T_T Of course, hopefully within the next year or so I want to have a freaking real job with a little better income.

Speaking of jobs, I think Run might want me to babysit Daichi...oh dear. ^^;

Sunday: I really don't remember Sunday, but I guess it's safe to say it was full of anxiety.

Monday: Babysat and downloaded the Bleach movie. HO-LY-CRAP! I haven't watched an anime movie for a while, but gang was it cool!! Definitely worth another watch!

Actually went to do a little school shopping too. Grandma gave mom some money to buy my brother and me some clothes for school I ended up getting a new pair of shoes and a really nice Jacket from JC Penny's for $98 (originally it was $200; it was on sale). I really like the jacket, I just wish it was much colder so I could actually wear it >_>.

I just got off the phone with Anthony. Things seem to be going pretty well. I thought it was going to be all awkward since I sorta turned him down and all. But I'm glad we could still be friends. Still doesn't stop the fact that I'm full of nothing but anxiety.

I almost wish school would just start so I can get it over with. >_>

...Which is totally not true by the way.

So, I think I just had my first two dates yesterday. That's right. Me. Two dates. One day. It still doesn't make much sense to me wither.

I guess I'll start with what happened first. Anthony and I had been talking a little bit through Myspace since Kumori ended. He really doesn't live that far away, it turns out. On Thursday he wanted to know if I wanted to get together to hang out and "get a bite to eat" (again, I can't take a freaking hint!), so I said sure and we agreed to meet at the mall at 1. I might have gotten there waaay earlier, but I didn't want to be late like I was the Ball. I waited for a little bit when he showed up. So we wandered around the mall a little, and of course the whole time I keep talking because I hate those awkward silences. >_< I couldn't find a b-day present for mom at Walden's, so he offered to take me over to Borders, like, right across the street, and then we could head over for lunch. I found the present (a book light) and we headed for foods. Keep in mind though, I told my mom we would just be staying at the mall >_>, not that I'm going to tell her...Anyway, the place was down by the Bridge, that really good seafood place by the water, yum. It was great though, one of the songs that played in his car was the Mikuru Battle Waitress Theme, to which I promptly burst out laughing.

So at lunch, he actually paid for the food, meaning that this was a date. We talked a lot about the con and the stupid stuff that happened, and just generally enjoyed food. I needed to head back to the mall after that because that's where I was getting picked up, still creating the illusion that we stayed there. On the way back he admitted that he really liked me and that's why he asked me out. I needed to be honest though; I liked him, he was really nice, but I'm not looking for a relationship (as much as I bitch and moan about it). So I told him that, I felt really bad too because he was looking for a girlfriend. I apologized a bunch, and told him that I still really want to be friends, because in a lot of cases friends are better then boyfriends. After this we decided to head back inside and wait for my mom to call. We browsed a bit more, turns out Michi works at Suncoast. He waited with me while I waited for a ride. He'd like to get together again soon.

Problem is though, Anthony's 21. Now I realize that I'm practically 18 and this won't be too bad after that, but I can't help but think, WHAT IS WITH GUYS 3 YEARS OLDER THAN ME LIKING ME?!?

Once I got home, I had to get ready for a football game I said I'd go to with Joe (It's weird that the only football game I go to is after I don't go there anymore). Now, I'm not sure if this was an actual date date, even though he did 1)admit to be openly flirting with me, 2) He planned it to be just the two of us, but got some friends to come at my, sorta, request, 3) He bought me a drink. We didn't even really watch the game, maybe the last 5 minutes of the first quarter, but that was it. We pretty much wandered and talked the whole time. I ran into Casey and Max, and I was really glad to see them again. It was great to see people that I knew and seemed glad to see me back. We settled ourselves in a grassy area and just talked. We talked about what we wanted to do, a little bit of Spirituality, but we mostly talked about past relationships. He let me vent a lot about Kris, I even told him the things that have been on my mind. It turns out that  Joe's not really friends with Lacey anymore and Kris was actually living with him for a while. We both just really vented to each other. Joe's a really good listener and has very good things to say, which is why I usually call him My Wise Friend Joe. He eventually admitted that he was somewhat attracted to me, but knew that I was very adamant about just being friends. I will admit this; we did kiss. But before you say "GASP!!!" let me just say that he asked me first and I said yes on the condition that it was between friends.

He said he knew on Monday people were going to be asking him about who he was with, but I don't think that bothers me since I don't go there anymore. I was sad I didn't get to see Mr. Robinson, though. Joe did say that he was going to be dragging me to more Football games, now.

So after all this, I'm still feeling really anxious about stuff. Hopefully going to class today will make me feel a little bit better. But I don't know. I'm not really sure what to think right now.

I've been feeling a little sad ever since Kumoricon ended. I dunno, maybe it's because now I don't have anything to look forward to. Well...atleast not until Sakura con. :B

Speaking of the con, I've been thinking a lot about Sunday night, at the dance. Maybe it's because it was my first dance, but every time I think about I get butterflies in my stomach. Turns out that Anthony comes to UP often. Buttons, I still feel bad about making him wait so long T_T.

At the same time, though, I've been thinking about wanting to get in touch with Kris again. I've been thinking about wanting to be friends again. We were pretty friendly at Sakura con, so I'm thinking things are all right, but I'm just not sure. I know that Kelsey would say it's a bad idea and I should just leave it. But I just don't know. I think I can handle it now. =/

Anyway, I spent my day yesterday cleaning the dust off my shelves in my room. I also cleaned the dust off my figures (my collection is growing! Yhey! C: ). Other then that, I've just been chillin'. I got The Trickster's Queen from the library, so I started reading that. I guess I just want class to strt up again so I can have something to look forward to at the end of the week.

Hopefully we'll start back up this weekend. :)

..or as I'd like to rename it, "OH MY GOD IT'S SO FREAKIN' HOT OUTSIDE D:" -con. It was waaaay to hot for a convention called "Kumori" (which means cloudy it Japanese, don'tcha know?), and I was wearing a fleece jacket too. T3T

Anyway, this con was full of nothing but entertainment, to say the least.

Friday: Kelsey picked me up at about 4:30 and we began the approximetly 2 hour ride down to Vancouver. The drive down was pretty uneventful I guess, interesting things began to happen when we got to the hotel room; starting with Jasmine exclaiming "Give me a dildo!" instead of "Ditto" like she wanted to say (she was playing Pokemon^^) God, we're still laughing about that. XXD

Saturday: Being the first day of the con, we jetted over to the Convention area (I was wearing Captured Rukia that day for the Bleach shoot), I went and got my badge and then waited in the Registration line with Kelsey, Jay, Dinelle, and Jasmine because they still needed their badges and I had nothing better to do. :P

The Bleach shoot was really fun. One guy who was Aizen was passing a Death Note around for everyone to sign; everyone actually kept teasing me because I was Execution Grounds version. I didn't really mind though, this one girl who was Renji stood up for me, and I hid behind Kelsey. People complimented me alot on my coustume. (This one guy who was L said I had some really good costumes, even saying I was the best Hinata he's seen. He'd hug me everytime we saw each other). After we had moved the shoot to the par, Anthony showed up (He was Bankai Ichigo from Sakura con), it was really fun to see him again. Later he actually asked if I was going to the Masquerade Ball the next night, and of course I had get flustered and stutter and stuff like that.

I ended up changing into Witch Yuki later on. Since I was carrying around my little star wand (which was made of craft foam, keep in mind), a con person had to peace bond it, which was fine except the peace bond actually made it more dangerous then it was originally. The zip tie was wound around the star with the two ends sticking out rather dangerously. We appealed it at con opps and Brownie, who I'm pretty sure was in charge, was pretty mad when she saw the bond. She said it was pointless and removed it, she also gave me permission to tell anyone that told me it needed to be peace bonded to "bugger off".

Also got to go to The Anime Hunters panel, which was also full of nothing but amusing XD

Sunday: This was the first time I got to wear my Hinata, so I was really excited. I had the wig and everything, so it turned out really good! I had alot of people telling me that I was the best they'd seen. It's exciting to hear because that was the first costume I'd ever made.

The cosplay was alright. There were too many song and dance skits that it got kind of old. Team7 and Anime Hunters had great skits! The guy at the end with this Satire Monolouge had everyone standing and cheering; I think he should have one atleast something.

The Ball was starting at 7, but before that my Ninja Sandles began to fall apart so I headed back to the hotel with Kelsey adn Jay to try and fix them. Our hotel was about 12 blocks away, it was also getting kind of dark. I was able to get a ride from Laurie back over there, but unfortunately when I got there the Ball was almost over. Anthony was there; gosh, I still don't think I could hav apologized enough >_> But we used whatever time we had left to dance a little; this was also the first time I've slow danced ever. O.O After the dance, he was getting picked up to head home, so we didn't get to hang out that much, but I'm most definitely glad I went!

I headed over to the Anime Dating Game show which was hilarious! I'd almost want to do that one day, but maybe as the Prize because I'm bad at improvising. >_>

Today was pretty much just spent shopping and stuff. We left Vancouver before closing Cerimonies and hit hardley any traffic at all. I'm still pretty tired, but all in all, this con was a blast! I seriously can't wait until Sakura Con. >_<

I'll post some pictures soon.

Ah, fuck spell check. I'm out.

I've been meaning to post something the past week or so, but I haven't had much to say lately. Just mostly the same bitching and complaining I always do, and even that gets old after a while. >_>

As for today though, I had my first meltdown in a long time. I think I can blame on first day of period raging hormones, being in pain from cramps, and watching Bryce when he suddenly, uh, overflowed in his diaper (lets just leave it at that, please). When I finally got a reprieve to my room, I just broke down crying for no real reason. Part of it could have been first day, and the other part of it was probably frustration at having taken at least 7  tylonol that morning and none of it working. After I calmed down I just kind of laid in bed for a while. I'll admit though, the crying felt kind of good.

I've also been reading a lot manga lately. I'll probably end up buying a fair share this weekend.

Speaking of, I'm leaving for Kumori tomorrow with Kelsey. I'm pretty excited, but also kind of anxious. As silly as it sounds, I kind of wish mom was going. I get home sick really easy. >_> But Kelsey should be there, so I think I'll be alright.

I was able to finish my Yukata for Captured Rukia, so I'm pretty excited. Hopefully my Hinata wig came.

But anyway, that's what's going on. School starts on Tuesday for everyone, but not me. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet, so I'll let you know when the day comes.

Before I forget;

ATTENTION DREAMCATCHERS!! I FREAKING MISS YOU ALL!!!!!! T3T

See you when I get back!!

Jeebus, when am I not sleepy? =/

Umm, things are a little better. We didn't go to dad's this weekend or today because he said he's not the most enjoyable person to be around at the moment, which is understandable. I doubt I'd want to be there right now, anyway. It just sucks though because I had my stuff all packed and everything, too.

Since Kumori is rapidly approaching, I'm pretty glad to say I don't have much I need to do. I finished my Captured Rukia collar but the Yukata is proving to be pretty interesting. We have the stuff cut out and I have a basic idea of how everything should go, but I have a feeling this is going to be, well...interesting.

I'll probably spend the con looking for Sailor Moon stuff. I started reading my SM manga the other day and it just re-occured to me how much I freaking love Sailor Moon. There's this statue I want to get, but not only do you have to put it together, but you have to paint it too. Oh well, there's a set of Gashapon that I want to get just as much. :3

But while I'm on the thought of monies, I think the fall/winter I'm going to go see if I can get a part-time job at the library. Hopefully I can get it there because that would be cool. Baby sitting's fine and all, and I think I have a pretty good deal, but I think it's time to get an actual job.

But until then, I have to be there at like, 7 on Friday. But I'll try not to dwell on that, I'm just going the think of the monies I'll have for Kumori.

I've stated over and over about how my dad can really tick me off and irritate me. But now,  I just don't know.

This all started Tuesday when he picked us up to go to his house. We were coming back from Fred Myers when he began asking me things like, "Are you happy at home", "Do you go to bed hungry", "Are all you basic necessities filled" etc, etc. But he wasn't asking me this in a way that sounded like he was trying to make sure we were ok, he was asking me in this drilling voice; really looking for an answer, as though he's trying to find some sort of fault in our living with mom. I literally felt like if I said just one thing wrong, he was going to exploit that and use that against her.

I had assumed that night he'd gotten the papers mom filed to DCS about he hasn't been paying child support because, well, he hasn't had a job, but that's not too unusual.

He said something else that really bothered me. I had mentioned that Grandma had said hi to him and his response was, "Really? Well I'm generally suprised. I'm sure my name down there is generally associated with trailor trash." Which is absolutly not true. You're hardley mentioned in mom's family at all. And besides, any bad images they have of you is your fault, what with your horrible attitude the last few times you went with us to visit! >=/

The rest of the night went by un-troubled. Dad and I watched American Graffiti together, I went to bed, had troubled sleeping of course, and woke up late because Dad wasn't pretending to have a job. Everything was alright, yeah I was still troubled by what he had been saying the night before, but things seemed generally ok.

When I went last night, however, I quickly found out that he hadn't recieved the papers Tuesday, but that day. He took me outside to begin his usual rant to me, with the excuse that since I'm almost an adult. I should hear these things, which is total CRAP because he's ranting to me like this and trashing mom waay before I began almost turning 18!! As a matter of fact, he doesn't even remember the time when I told him I didn't want to him him say things like that and he replied, "Well sometimes to need to hear these things", which figures. Him saying this, by the way, is what really lead to me being unable to stand up to him when he does this because I was convinced that he would just say that again, which he kind of did last night. He began to say stuff like, "You'r mom is out to screw me" and "I have to file for bankruptcy because I'm broke and now I have to apy all this crap back" and how the whole situation for him was unfair. Well maybe it is, but when you left, you agreed to leave and pay mom! I feel like all he does is complain about how unfair it is instead of trying, and I mean really trying, to do something about it. When he talks like this, he makes me feel honestly bad about living with Mom in our  reletivley comfortable lifestyle. I told him as such.

My whole gripe with this is, why is he telling me? What does telling me  do to help his situation?  Nothing, except stress me out and depress me!

It wasn't exactly an argument we got into, but it was ended with me going of to my room and him saying that if I wanted to go home I could.  So I called mom, and I did. And I will say this, I had a pretty nice time with mom at home.

This morning however when he came to drop Aaron off, he called me out to talk to us. He told us that we were the bast thing to ever happen to him and no matter what happened he loved us.  He seemed like he was trying really hard not to cry. After he left, and especially now, I have the horrible feeling that he's going to do something. I don't know what though. I now feel really bad for leaving last night.

I don't expect anyone to read this, but if you do, I don't know I just need to some comfort, or words of advice. I don't know what to do now.

Holy crap, Gaia! I'm gone two weeks and you suddenly pull a new layout on me? Jeebus!!

So yeah, my trip and stuff. I'm not gonna go day by day. So here we go, Two Weeks of Vacation in a Nutshell By Tara Bennett;

This time I can honestly say that I had a good flight. I had some anxiety pills, which made me feel loads better and not feel like throwing up the little I had to eat that morning. Mom also gave me some homeopathy pills to help with the ear pressure and some of the these ear plugs, so landing I felt no pain at all! :D I can say the same about the flight back home, too.

Sue picked us up at the air port and we spent one night at her place. Brooke was in Peru and Sue was going to join her a couple of days after we arrived, so we got to use her Lexus while we were there. *thumbs up*

We pretty much spent a majority of out time with Grandma. It makes me really sad because she's in a lot of pain and it's hard for her to get around. But I was glad to see her, and you could tell she was really happy to see us.

We also spent a lot of time with Judy and Ben and Nick, even though Nick was in Boot camp half the time. I still can't believe that Ben's going into High school, it just blows be away. Even got to go to Disneyland! It was freaking expensive though D: Judy and I waiting in line for two hours to go on the new Finding Nemo ride. It was a cute ride though, I liked it a lot. Judy even got me this really pretty Mulan pin.

Ben also said something to my brother that I've been wanting to say to him for the past six years. It goes like this; We're at the Griffith Observatory and Ben's looking through one of the telescopes, one of the ones where you put in the money and have like, a minute to look.  So my brother starts jumping in front of it and obstructing his view, so my cousin looks at him and says, and I quote, "If you don't knock it off, I'll kick you in the balls. " And you want to know the best part? He knocked it off! XXDDD I love my cousin.

Ben also succeded in getting me somewhat interested in WoW. I doubt I'll actually get it and [lay it, but it did look like fun. =/

Basically, the rest of out two weeks was spent visiting and shopping, and doing family stuff. I bought a lot of really nice school clothes for when I got to the college this year ( >_<), and finally went to that Anime/hobby store on Ventura Blvd.

At the airport on the way back, our plane was delayed for two hours, so I was sitting there reading EGM, when this guy across from me asked if I was gamer, I said "Sorta". We began talking and he was really nice! He was heading up to UW for orientation it turns out. We exchanged cell phone numbers, the first time I've ever really done this with someone, because he didn't know anyone up here. I'll have to introduce him to some of my friends. >=D Back at SeaTac I helped him find his bag because he was at the wrong baggage claim thingy.

All in all, I'm freaking hella glad to be home. I get home sick really easily, so two weeks was killer for me.  I also need to get ready for Kumori in a couple of weeks. I found the fabric I wanted for Captured Rukia (at WalMart of all places), but I'm now looking for a Yukata pattern. JoAnns.com is proving to be a difficult little bitch. I might actually have to get off my ass and go up there myself to make he purchase :O At least I was able to check the balance on my gift card...

So yeah, I missed you all and I hope that you missed me at least a fraction of much. I miss going to voiceacting too. But I'll have to wait until September to go back, but thinking back, first weekend of September is Kumori.  ToT